Thursday, April 30, 2009

She is here!

This is me on April 12th just before church and the day before we went to the hospital.

I love this picture. She is only seconds old. I have my eyes closed in all the others and look compltely wasted. I was still on morphine and had been in labour for 10 hours

Mama and Brooklynn bonding after I had a little nap.

On April 14th we welcomed our baby girl, Brooklynn Mary Lee into this world and into our hearts. I am so happy she is here, I look at her and most often cry, thinking how blessed I am, how much I love her and yet at the same time this thought goes through my head like, "where have you been all this time, and I have missed sharing my life with you." Yes, I truly have some distant memory of her, like we knew each other before this life and the wait has been too long to be reunited once again.
I surprisingly fell into the less than 4% of women who give birth on their due date, and even smaller percentage of women who have their doctor deliver too!
I was induced on the 13th around 7:45pm, and gave birth to her at 10:43am on April 14th. I had measured smaller than before at my appointment on April 8th and the fill-in doctor was worried that I might have a loss of amniotic fluid. The following Monday we had a few tests run at the clinic and an ultrasound. My amniotic fluid was fine but they were hoping to score her on certain movements and practice breathing but because she was sleeping we weren't able to monitor those things, thus we scored low on the test. They decided to run the test again at Rockyview hospital and we ended up with the same score as we did in the morning. The Doctor felt that unless we wanted to keep driving up to that clinic each day till we scored better, an induction might as well happen because I was pretty much at my due date and our baby would be more then ready to come out at this point.
My nerves went crazy the moment they offered an induction. Jason was all for it and trying to get me excited but I really didn't know if I was ready, what to expect and being induced went against all my previous "birth plans". I thought I had it all figured out before hand. I wanted to stay at home as long as possible, take a bath, do my exercises and then make my way to the hospital and have a nice natural birth. Ha ha I know this idea makes me laugh too! Things rarely go as you plan right? Well they didn't go at all the way I planned but none the less I still think they went rather well.
At about 11pm on the 13th I finally started to have contractions. I was giving the full dosage of oxytocin before anything really happened, and I was slow to dilate. In the ultrasound we had in the morning we discovered that our baby was posterior and I was pretty apprehensive when contractions had started because I most likely going to endure some back labour. I mentioned that to my nurse, who was also a midwife and so amazing, and she discussed with my pain medication and an epidural. Epidurals were something I feared greatly and wanted to avoid at all cost but in the end it was the only thing that gave me the opportunity to relax, dilate and get enough rest to push baby out in the morning. I had been labouring all night, with no sleep and no food and was simply exhausted in the early AM. They gave me the epidural at about 6:30 and I fell asleep for about 2 hours, when woke I up I had Jason by my side coaching my through contractions that I still felt and the intense pressure too. He was so amazing. My mom told my dad that he was as good as my father was for her. I couldn't have asked for better support. I just kept my eyes closed through all contractions and listened to his voice. He kept me aware of what was going on and to relax as much as possible while encouraging me too. I feel I should devote a whole post to him! Not that I didn't expect him to be great, I was just blown away how strong he was with me.
So after being awake for a bit they checked me and realized I had finally fully dilated and was ready to push. I probably could have pushed her out quicker then I did but I was throwing up a lot during and in between contractions. I pushed for a bout 40 mins and out came our little one. Jason and my mom were both present when she arrived. I was so exhausted afterwards that I was barely awake when they laid her on top of me. Either way I was so over filled with joy, and still am. I can't believe she’s here sometimes. Pregnancy feels like it was forever ago and a glimpse of my past. Crazy- I know I definitely didn't expect to feel that way while I was pregnant!
We've had so much support since her arrival and are so grateful for everything. I sort of feel like I fell off the face of the earth for a while but we're slowly getting in the swing of things and juggling cyclical sleeping and feeding. It's tough at times but it is so incredibly worth it.

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

9 Month Re-Cap:

The TWO lines. Taking a pregnancy test is quite the event if you ask me. I love hearing stories of when people took them and the reaction they had afterwards. I hope mine is entertaining enough :)

Us in the morning after I jumped in bed to announce the good news.

Same day we found out, we were on out way to Jemaica`s reception. We had to get a picture of us looking better than we were in the morning...

We`re almost there now, and it`s really hard to believe. I truly feel like I have been pregnant for half my life or so. I often think to myself, “Do I even remember what it feels like to be normal?” To me normal can be defined as someone who wears normal clothing, can shop in “normal” stores, can run to the bus if they are running late- not just watch it go by as they slowly waddle to the bus stop. Normal was when I could comfortably lean over the bathroom counter to brush my teeth, pluck my eye brows, do my makeup etc. It’s very tough to get a close-up view of your face in the mirror when you are forced away by a large tummy! I want to sleep on my back again more than anything, I can’t wait to bend over comfortably to put on my socks and shoes, and to wear pants that have a non-elastic waistline. At first I thought maternity pants were the greatest thing ever, however I can’t wait to wear something that won’t shift down all day and constantly having me hike them up around my hips. For about a month now my belly-bulge has been a lot lower and my elastic-waste pants can’t hug me appropriately anymore. I ALWAYS have that gross saggy jeans bum. Jason thought it would be funny to pull them down while I was making dinner yesterday- I had to laugh too while I awkwardly hiked them back up! Oh my, the little things I took for granted...

I have said this to people who’ve asked time and time again that I know I have been lucky. I haven’t worshiped the porcelain urn during the last 9 months; I pretty much skipped morning sickness altogether, just a little nausea here and there and it left when I ate something. Yes lucky me, and I am so thankful because I have heard so many nightmares- my heart goes out to you. Maybe I’ll feel worst being pregnant with a boy?

My tummy feels bigger everyday at this point; the toilet is my best friend for a different reason because every time I stand up I have to go pee. It’s getting rather ridiculous, I have to go like 3 times before I can lie down at night and fall asleep because any slight urge to go will keep my awake. I wonder if it is wisdom in God to have us so irritable with how our body functions near the end of pregnancy. Maybe this is so we embrace the trial of labour and birth? I wouldn’t be surprised. God often works like that. If we can simply endure the blessings and joy promised to us are beyond our comprehension. I truly believe this little girl will do just that to our lives, bringing us more joy and happiness then we’ve ever really known possible.

So here is how the story goes:

Jason and I had originally planned to want a family after we’d been married about a year. We knew if we stressed about it would be harder to conceive so we tried to relax and see what would happen. We were married in May 2007, and conceived in July 2008. It was a funny thing when I found out. My cycle had been 5 days late the previous month and I was almost positive I was pregnant in June because I am always so regular, however that wasn’t the case and I was worried that I was messing up my cycle because sub-consciously I was stressed with how long it might take us to conceive. The first weekend in August we headed out to the cabin in Shuswap and I was careful not to go tubing because I figured that wouldn’t be the smartest move if I was indeed pregnant this month. Well my intuition was right on. I hesitated to take a test out at the cabin to see if I could confirm things then but figured I should just wait. I waited an extra 5 days to see if my period came because of what happened the previous month. So I waited and waited and Saturday morning I woke up from a dream where I had taken a test and it was positive. I was mad that I was dreaming something like this because if this test turned out to be a negative again I would have just gotten my hopes up and thus ended up disappointed. So I went to the bathroom after holding my urge to go all night. My sister’s in law told me to pee in a cup and then dip the test in it. I hadn’t tried that before so I really had no idea what I was doing at 6am Saturday morning. I was disoriented and had to go so bad that I ended up filling the cup way faster than I thought and had to finish in the toilet after making a mess of myself! Yes, it was actually quite funny that I was laughing during the whole process and while I tried to compose myself in the bathroom the second line appeared on the stick, and I was in shock! I laid it on the counter and stared at it for a good minute and then ran to get bathroom cleaner and a change of clothes. I was overjoyed and laughing because my circumstances were hilarious and I was SO happy! After I cleaned up I went back and looked at the test a bit longer and was thinking of how to tell Jason. I wanted to do something cool or creative and had researched ways on the internet for when this day would come and how I’d surprise him. I did the opposite and simply ran to the room, jumped into bed and said, “Baby, I have a baby inside ME!” He was in deep sleep but his eyes suddenly popped open and were the size of golf balls. He didn’t believe me at first, or at least he questioned me but I could tell he was excited about the news I delivered. He wanted to see the test and because the second line shows up a lot more faint then the first one he though it wasn’t legit. I reassured him it was legit and headed off to the clinic an hour or so later and everything was confirmed. When I came home he had been doing some “father-to-be research” and I knew he was just as happy as I was and we were both SO excited.