I'm not good at taking photos sometimes. My mind just slips a little more often these days. I didn't get ONE picture of my family on Easter Sunday!!! My little girls looked darling in their dresses. I'll have to dress them up again and do a mock Easter Sunday photo.
Easter was great this year. It was SO much fun to do an egg hunt with Brooklynn. Saturday we gave Brooklynn her Easter loot and later that morning we drove over to Nana and Grandpa's house (they were in Invermere) and I hid a bunch of eggs in the basement with Jason. Amanda came by and joined us. We hid some larger eggies for her. We really put her to work though and hid them in tricky spots. It was pretty funny to see her so into it and yet get frustrated with it too.
Brooklynn's was pretty easy but man oh man did she get excited when she found them in even the most obvious of places. She would yell out the colour, show it to us and then toss it into her basket.
I don't want to know how much chocolate my child consumed that day. I think I'd be happier not knowing and making sure we don't come close to that amount for a LONG time!
I also don't want to know how much I consumed either. Shame on me. I was out of control and poor Alivia is paying for it and I feel awful. I'm going another month without junk food and this time it's more of a punishment.
So enough about Easter egg hunts and chocolate. I started Sunday morning off watching some Mormon Messages about the Savior, ones that focused on Easter and the resurrection. What a beautiful tone they set that morning as I watched them with Brooklynn. We enjoyed them during Alivia's morning nap together.
About an hour or so before we were to leave for church Alivia started crying like REALLY crying or rather she started to SCREAM for a LOOOOONG time. I was loosing my mind and starting to go crazy and just wanted to cry myself. She went on for over 30 minutes which feels like 30 hours when you hear it non stop. I said to Jason, "I don't think I can go to church today" he replied saying, "you probably need to go to church if you feel that way". I knew that too but I'm glad he said it.
I sucked it up and laid Alivia on the counter (still screaming) while I finished my hair and make-up. Jason was tying some loose ends together with his lesson, and because I carry the car seat to church and he carries Brooklynn I went on ahead of them (I'm a little slower so they'd catch up). I was frazzled beyond belief still and just kept my fingers crossed that she'd calm down.
The moment I opened the door to the building and headed towards the church she stopped crying. I could only pay attention to the peacefulness of that moment and how beautiful it was outside and the gorgeous sunshine above me. I just wanted to cry but this time because I was so over-joyed. I thought of my Savior and how I just need to suck it up more and trust in him, and then go, and do. My stress and burden of that morning floated away and I was filled with so much joy as I headed across the parking lot. It was like I hadn't experienced any ordeal and all was well. I'm glad I made the right decision and was going to be where I needed to be more then I even knew that day. I shared this experience later that Sunday in Relief Society. Then lesson title was Trust in the Lord... then Go and Do. So have faith and don't give up and continue trusting in him.
I can't believe how much I got out of that one day when I was so close to missing out.
Sunday, April 17, 2011
I've said this time and time again but I've been thinking it over and over lately... I can't believe my Brooklynn is already 2 years old, and yet I can't believe she's only been a part of my life for 2 years. It seems like she's becoming so grown up and on the other hand a mere two years isn't much at all... Then I go back to my greater understanding of life and relationships we have with one another, especially family and I know without a doubt that Brooklynn and I have been a part of eachother's lives MUCH longer than two years and that we will be together forever and for that I am SO grateful for. She is such a beam of sunshine in our life/ family. Her personality and smiles are infectious and her laughter and zest for life melts our hearts and sure makes her daddy and I a pair of happy parents.
I struggle sometimes knowing I mess up as a mom and don't always do things the way I should or as best I could but I just want Brooklynn to know that I can't possibly imagine my life without her nor would I ever want to. She gave me the greatest gift I could possibly ask for and that was the opportunity to become a mommy. She's been a trooper handling me and all my quirks as a mom. She's even a BIG sister now and is absolutely amazing at giving hugs and kisses and showing love to little Alivia. She is wonderful at helping us take care of her too. I'm just so proud.
I'm not sure Brooklynn understood the concept of making a "birthday wish" but if I had a wish for you Brooklynn it would be that you never ever doubted how wonderful, divine and precious you are and that no one would ever have you think otherwise. I know in this life there's a lot to discourage or try to make you think you might not be all of the above BUT you are! And we love you SOOOO much! Happy Birthday Sweetheart, xox
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
Last night Jason, Brooklynn and I knelt down for family prayer. We always ask Brooklynn who she would like to say prayers. She's been pretty good at rotating between Jason and I but last night she broke out in the sweetest little prayer on her own. All those slow bedtime prayers where we would have her repeat the things we would say payed off last night. Jason and I were just beaming at how grown up our little girls was. She started off with, "Dear Heavenly Father"- asked that Momma be blessed, Dada be blessed, Brooklynn be blessed (about 5x) and then baby Alivia, and that we would all sleep good. She ended with "In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen." It's moments like this where you have a clear focus on your purpose as a parent and even though things seems crazier than normal most of the time... you just want to pat yourself on the back because something went right somewhere and you helped your baby learn to pray.
Saturday, April 9, 2011
I gave myself the challenge of going a whole month without any junk food (cookies, cake, ice cream, any dessert, granola bar, fruit snack)- you get it!
I'd been itching Jason for a certain "purchase" in our near future... and he said that I should give myself a challenging but attainable goal to deserve it. This was the ABSOLUTE best way for me to start this goal. Just knowing there might be a reward in the end was worth it entirely, it was my focus and it was what kept me going. I've never really started a diet/ healthier eating challenge this way before and now know why I continued to fail over and over.
My challenge went pretty well. I'll admit that I licked some melted chocolate off my finger when Jason and Amanda were dipping strawberries and pretzels in it-- they didn't make it very easy sometimes to hold back (grrrrrr!) Jason would offer me "crap" quite frequently. In hindsight I'm glad he tested me here and there. It helped me strengthen my will power/ self discipline. Originally I was only go to go the month of March but because I wanted to push myself and makeup for licking chocolate off my finger I went an extra 9 days, thus being my "40 day challenge". Our Stake President suggested we all do a challenge at that length for a goal in the New Year. I'm happy to say, "I did it!"
Today was my first day off and I treated myself to a Fudgee-O after lunch (wish I didn't now). I have to continue though, I don't want to slip backwards from how far I've come. That being said, I lost 6 pounds!
Now I just need some nicer weather to come our way and I can get outside and go for some good long stroller walks :)