Today started off with me being a little flustered as I was bracing myself for the news I might receive as I went for an ultrasound. 4 1/2 months ago my doctor explained that I would have to have my whole right ovary removed because it had ballooned so big with the cyst attached to it. This had been really hard for me to deal with and I cried at times thinking my ability to have more children decreased 50%, or I was simply losing part of my womanhood too. However I knew it had to be dealt with and the size was quite worrisome (it was as large as Brooklynn's head when she was born!)
My follow up appointment today was to see if the cyst had shrunk at all, and if it would alter the type of operation I'd need to deal with it. When the Tec came back in the room she said the Doctor thought everything looked great. In my head I thought, "what the heck does great mean?", "is it doing just fine, still large, and hanging out on my ovary???" Then she added it's completely disappeared and things are back to normal. I started to cry, and told her how I couldn't believe it, and I was preparing myself to undergo surgery and have my ovary removed next month, and that this was the GREATEST news she could possibly share with me. I'm still in shock. This is the answer to my many prayers, where I told my Heavenly Father that I was leaving this matter in his hands, and that he knew my concerns, but I would have the faith I needed to take care of this and go on with life, having had the surgery if needed.
He gave me my own little miracle today, along with the many he places in my life all the time, but this is an experience that strengthened my testimony for he surely hears and answers our prayers.
Friday, October 9, 2009
Thursday, October 8, 2009
Love
Today hasn't been a day much different than any other, ran a few errands, cleaning, and tending to Brooklynn as usual, however I feel lately I'm really coming into my role as a mother and the things I do for responsibility now. Sometimes I don't give myself credit for all that I do because I never seemed satisfied with all I get done in the run of the day, like I just don't accomplish enough to feel a sense of gratification with myself most of the time.
At the end of today I was getting Brooklynn ready for bed and I changed somewhere around the 7th diaper of the day, and started to cry a little. NOT because I was upset, or breaking down because this is probably the 3000th diaper I've changed... No. It actually was one of the moments where I felt I crossed over a little further into the role of motherhood, where I understand that I love to do this and take care of my little girl because I love her SO much. I would do anything for her, and I have to admit I don't always take credit for the work I do in the run of a day or week or however long it's been. I tell her I love her all the time, I kiss her, snuggle her and enjoy all her little giggles and smiles, but lately I've witnessed many milestones and she is going to be 6 months old next week. She is growing so fast and is so healthy and taking the moment to ponder that tonight as I wiped her bum really brought tears to my eyes. I'm so proud of her and her accomplishments are my greatest accomplishments. How rewarding it truly is to see how amazing her life has made mine. I'd do ANYTHING for her, I can't thank my Heavenly Father enough for letting me care for and enjoy my life with such a little angel. She's the greatest thing to ever happen to me.
It's kind of ironic how changing her diaper brought on such emotion, but it really is moments like that, that I realize the type of service we so easily render from true LOVE.
At the end of today I was getting Brooklynn ready for bed and I changed somewhere around the 7th diaper of the day, and started to cry a little. NOT because I was upset, or breaking down because this is probably the 3000th diaper I've changed... No. It actually was one of the moments where I felt I crossed over a little further into the role of motherhood, where I understand that I love to do this and take care of my little girl because I love her SO much. I would do anything for her, and I have to admit I don't always take credit for the work I do in the run of a day or week or however long it's been. I tell her I love her all the time, I kiss her, snuggle her and enjoy all her little giggles and smiles, but lately I've witnessed many milestones and she is going to be 6 months old next week. She is growing so fast and is so healthy and taking the moment to ponder that tonight as I wiped her bum really brought tears to my eyes. I'm so proud of her and her accomplishments are my greatest accomplishments. How rewarding it truly is to see how amazing her life has made mine. I'd do ANYTHING for her, I can't thank my Heavenly Father enough for letting me care for and enjoy my life with such a little angel. She's the greatest thing to ever happen to me.
It's kind of ironic how changing her diaper brought on such emotion, but it really is moments like that, that I realize the type of service we so easily render from true LOVE.
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