Monday, October 4, 2010

A Little Bit Guilty But SO Grateful

Lately Brooklynn has gotten into this little habit when she is rather "needy" or "thinks she is needy" and will follow me right at or on my feet and wrap around my legs, while she repeats "mommy, mommy".... and so on. I guess it sounds cute but sometimes and for the most part she does this when I'm frantically trying o prep dinner or clean something up. I've been really frustrated when she does it and I am around the stove because she latches on when I am least expecting it and trip or stumble near a hot element or oven door. SO needless to say I haven't been a fan of her desperate measure for my attention.
I just happened to pop over to the Sullenger's blog that I like to try to read every once and a while. It's sometimes hard for me to go there because the tears come instantly. However I am beyond a amazed at how they are handling their loss and clinging to the Lord for strength.
In one blog post she mentioned that she has been working on being grateful for each day and what it has to offer even when it is simply the hardest thing for her to pass by her little girls empty room, or think about how she misses her her little girl pulling a chair up or hugging her legs while she is making dinner...
That part hit me like a rock because only an hour ago I stressfully scooped up a crying Brooklynn and plopped her on the couch to watch t.v. while I made dinner because I couldn't handle her clinging to my legs and being "needy"....
So as I turn over a new leaf in this moment I am going to be first, be more patient with her during those times and not take for granted how much I will miss the day she stops hugging my legs and wanting to be up in my arms so badly. I have witnessed more so than ever how quickly time flies and it all changes. You never know what tomorrow brings so with my best efforts I want to more grateful for clingyness, leg grabs, and all the rest of her little quirks....

3 comments:

Elizabeth said...

I too also read her blog and I sit and cry as I do. I can't imagine putting myself in her shoes!! Reading her blog and Nienie's blog I just think how grateful I am in life to be blessed with so many things. Great post!

Amanda said...

Your post made me cry Suzanne. What you said is so true -- I don't know the Sullengers' story, but my heart goes out to them and everyone else who has to say premature good-bye's to their children. I love you Suzanne.

jjandb said...

Oh goodness, if I could stop crying long enough to type I could get this out... I headed over to their blog after googling their name. Thank you for the reminder today...when I was taking it all a little too for granted and dared let complaint enter my day. It was all those things that felt a bit like drudgery today that hit me the hardest as Ashley was talking about the pain in breaking the habits in her days that involved Preslee. Wow. The guilt is sure flowing now... rather, I was so privileged to wipe noses (and bums) today, tuck and re-tuck in a bedtime fighter, try to get three bites of dinner in a squirmy baby and tie shoe laces ten times...certainly not drudgery, a needed reminder of my blessings. I can't imagine the ache of her arms at bedtime. I can't imagine handling their trial as valiantly and faithfully as they are.
Thanks for this post!